Man of Steel, Mom of Inappropriate Conduct

I was originally going to do a somber and pretentious piece about Silver Age Krypton.  Didn't last.

I was originally going to do a somber and pretentious piece about Silver Age Krypton. Didn’t last.

I love Superman.

I’m adopted, and my mom used the fact that Superman was also adopted to make it cool. Probably her shining moment as a parent. Superman, at its heart is positive. It is upbeat, looking forward, attempting to inspire the best in people. When i look at the grim, somber tones of the trailers, I don’t see that view. I do see a “Dark Knight” approach to film, and I didn’t see the last one in that series.

Remember, Superman and Superman II…they were played for comedy. At no point do you really doubt that Superman and his friends will be all right by the end, in fact, the reason Superman Returns didn’t work…is because it forgot that. Play it light, and play it for comedy.

I had a discussion with a comics published the other day, and he asserted, with solid evidence, that the Byrne Era was in fact the best era of Superman stories. He had a tightly put together set of evidence for his thesis, and I could not provide a solid counterpoint to it. That set the wheels turning for using the Byrne style artwork for Lara-El, Superman’s biological mother, above.

There are rumors, deriving from this quote from an article in Entertainment Weekly, that in the film Krypton will STILL EXIST. No boom.

“Clark Kent’s heroic tendencies would rise to the surface only when the threat was great enough. It would have to be a global menace — one that might also trigger an internal conflict about whether he belongs on Earth even as he yearns to be among his own kind. That’s what pits him against General Zod (Boardwalk Empire’s Michael Shannon), a Kryptonian tyrant who wants Clark to join him back on Krypton, which would mean abandoning his post as defender of the weaklings of Earth.”

That’s from Jeff Robinov, President of Warner Bros. Pictures.

Wow. That is inappropriate handling of the material. I have been mad about that. Let me list things that I’m mad about:

1. No underpants on the outside.
2. General Zod, no Terrence Stamp. Don’t I already have the origin of Superman, and a Battle with Zod, that DOES have Terrence Stamp? Isn’t this a rerun of movies I already have and like?
3. Krypton existing? I hope not.
4. Jenny Olsen. Not Jimmy Olsen, Jenny Olsen.
5. Kevin Costner. I just don’t like him that much unless the movie is a romantic comedy like Tin Cup. Sue me.

So instead of making a sad, pretentious post about the inappropriate handling of the material, and how I wanted my proper Krypton back, I decided to handle the material inappropriately myself. The result is above, Superman’s biological mother, Lara-El, making a pass at our hero. She finds that idea as creepy as I found Superman being a stalker in Superman Returns.

Coming up! A comic book movie that I liked! YAY!

All good Superman stories end with a wink.

2 thoughts on “Man of Steel, Mom of Inappropriate Conduct

    • That’s what the merchandising suggests. Also, Krytponians seem to love both H.R. Giger and the Matrix. Go figure.

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