Truly...a dystopian timeline.

Truly…a dystopian timeline.

For the last week or so, a startling number of people have asked me about DC Comics’ Flashpoint. Honest answer….as much as I don’t like the New 52…it is head and shoulders above the Flashpoint event in quality.

Flashpoint is based entirely upon the idea that time travel can change events, and thus create an alternate reality. We are supposed to be interested in these variations, like a Thomas Wayne Batman, or an Atlantean/Amazon war. As the story goes on, though, it is pedestrian….just a giant, “no consequence” Elseworlds story. Even though is is used as the “beginning” of the New 52, that is only insofar as the elimination of the Flashpoint timeline is needed to reinstate a status quo.

The variations in the universe? Not so interesting. Captain Cold as a superhero? Meh. The Amazons as jerks….meh. Deathstroke as a pirate? Straight up…who cares, you know? Cyborg as the best, most respected superhero in the world? Sadly, only in an Elseworlds, because he’s actually pretty cool. All of the changes range from “meh” to “only in an Elseworlds, and that’s a beef.

I tried to imagine a world with a truly shocking change, since people have been talking to me about this roughly two years old crossover. It would have to be, quite simply, a world in which Professor Zoom’s time travel interference had eliminated the burrito. I shudder thinking of it. Terrible, apocalyptic vision that is…

Could you eliminate the burrito without eliminating the taco? The nacho? For that matter, could you have Aztecs at all? Or Mexico?

Truly…the world of Flashpoint as I see it is a dark, bleak place.

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