Prime Parking!

Poor Optimus...

Poor Optimus…

In the 80’s cartoon, the Autobots…in fact all Transformers on Earth came in a spacecraft called the Ark, which crashed in Oregon, of all places. Geothermal energy from a volcano going off in the mountain range where it rested restarted the ship, which in turn rebuilt the Cybertronians to transform into earthly machines, better to blend in. That was the story, and it was a pretty good one.

In the intervening years, the Transformers, both Autobot and Decepticon, have had both good times and hard times. Optimus Prime was dead at least once, and rebooted several times. The Ark isn’t even a thing in the films, to my knowledge, I’m fairly certain that they use a wormhole like space bridge….I think. I only saw the first live action film.

Still, Optimus in the films is a new Optimus, and there is no Ark. Meaning the beloved Optimus of the 80’s is functionally homeless, since the Autobots lived in the Ark. This made me a little sad, and furthermore, got me to thinking that if our hero offered that the Fantastic Four could stay at the Fortress of Togetherness, clearly Prime could. Still…Ponies aren’t that big. Ben Grimm is still mostly person sized. Prime is a @#$%ing truck. He would have to be parked outside.

From previous issues, we know that there is a Batmobile and a Lamborghini outside…so if there are an awesome three parking spots, then Prime would get the third. Who knows where Wheeljane would live….she only had one appearance anyway. Although I like Wheeljane, and keep meaning to draw her in some more. That aside…it dawned on me that Optimus Prime would actually LIVE in a parking spot, and that produced the strip above…since Ben has to put the Fantasticar someplace.

I think he might have been able to park it on the roof though. Just saying.

As I considered the strip, I decided I wanted to find an old school Optimus Prime online. I went to eBay, interested in a vintage, G1 Optimus, but not wanting to spend a ridiculous amount of money…which is possible. The search results are sad. Quickly, you see a load of down on their luck, beat up Primes looking for a new home, some busted up and being sold for parts. It’s a bit heartbreaking.

With any luck, one of those Primes will be finding a good home here at the Fortress of Togetherness, where he can hang around with ponies all day, and not have to worry about Decepticons at all. Kind of an Autobot retirement.

Next Issue: Harry Potter, the Later Years!


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