Secret Wars, Again? Really…?

The Prophecy has been fulfilled!

The Prophecy has been fulfilled!

I promised more 80’s related content, if only by accident, and there’s the Beyonder, Marvel’s cosmic bad guy of the 80’s, setting up another Secret War. Where does he still get all his eighties hair product? Still…the Prophecy HAS been fulfilled.

What Prophecy, you ask? Great question, True Believers! I posted this piece last summer, on July 30th, 2014. I was being sarcastic, as anyone can tell by clicking the link. That having been said, we are about a month out from a Marvel “Secret Wars” crossover event that will “change everything.” Not only are we seeing the creative bankruptcy that I heavily criticized…it is actually a “Secret Wars” story.

I didn’t actually WANT Secret Wars III, Mr. Perlmutter. Yeah, I’m talking to you…CEO of Marvel, man behind the systematic removal of the Fantastic Four from Marvel Comics, and largest single Disney shareholder. I’m talking to YOU.

From May to August, starting on Free Comic Book Day, Marvel Comics as we know them are over, at least for a little while. The Beyonder may not be drunk, he may not be involved at all. Still…his “Battleworld” concept will be involved, and the Battleworld territories will be the summer status quo for Marvel publications. There will be a whole lot of Battleworld book out there, and already new, post Secret Wars titles are being announced.

Still, this weekend Marvel execs announced that continuity will remain intact, and that it is NOT a reboot. The “Ultimate” marvel line will be eliminated, but comics will all have happened, even though the status of the marvel Universe will be changed moving forward. One write went so far as to call Marvel Comics “the longest continuous narrative in human history,” with no plans to undermine that.

Honestly…with all those assurances…it still doesn’t make me want to read “Secret Wars” any more than I do right now. From the tone of the artwork above, you can see that I’m not feeling to positive about it at all. I am falling into the habit that Marvel says will handle the Fantastic Four title and characters…that there won’t be an FF book, but the characters will still appear and be active in other Marvel titles. Reed seems all too aware of this edict.

The most troubling thing? It appears that the Beyonder, one of the most powerful beings in the universe, is drinking a cheap domestic beer. I would think that cosmic beings would have better taste, a more sophisticated palate. Apparently not….maybe that’s what has the protagonist so depressed. Being at the hands of a cosmic being with so little real cleverness or taste.

Or maybe, like Reed, she is dubious of the shadowy figure in the castle. That figure is truly the one in power, moving the others around like pieces on a chessboard. Probably a Disney themed chessboard, at that.

Next Issue: Autobots! Or at least one…

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