Online Testing Returns: An Unexpected Second Wave.
As I usually do, I’m writing my post the evening before the date ON the post. Often I try to predict the coming day, and possible events therein. I actually clicked “save draft” about ten minutes ago, not quite sure how to put into words what I was getting at with the artwork above.
Then my phone rang, with an announcement from the school As far as I was concerned…my decisions were made, and I had comedy gold.
The first thing to be announced was that “this week we will be continuing with our State Testing.” Wait, what? I actually DIDN’T know that, and I’m a teacher at the school. in fact…that statement is at odds with every single document placed in my hands with regard to testing. If, True Believers, you ever wonder why my school seems to run in such a chaotic fashion these days…that is a prime example of the problem.
One of two states is in effect right now: in one universe, I am going in to another day of testing that I know nothing about. In the other universe, there is no testing, or perhaps some complex boondoggle of make up testing, that I have yet to be informed about in any way other than a cryptic mass phone message. Much like Schroedinger’s Cat…I won’t know until I observe the state in front of me, and then it is too late.
Testing is what prompted the art, though…testing and all of the strange ideas that come with it, or about it. Last week, testing was so Important with a capital I. It was Very Crucial that we give the students a Serious Testing Environment. All those capital letters thrown around. Every teacher had to sign a Very Serious Test Security Document, which suggests that if you ever speak about test specifics, Ninjas and Federal Agents, as a joint effort, will come to your house to Deal With It.
Now though…a few days later, looking at it…it’s very much like the art above. A giant monster baby having a giant baby tantrum. A tantrum that affects everyone, because of the @#$%ing huge size of the baby, but is incomprehensible. Much like you sometimes can’t stop a real baby from having a tantrum, and it seems so important in the moment…a few few days later, it’s like, “yeah, that happened.” This years testing was basically that….a giant monster baby tantrum.
You see…LAUSD, and the state of California in general, already decided that for the second year in a row, the scores won’t count. No point.
For all the hassle, and the headache…they won’t count.
Meaning, that if we are actually doing make up testing this week, that suggests that a whole new kind of stupid and ineffective was invented while I wasn’t looking. Why do make up testing on a test that doesn’t count, and thus has no impact on anyone or anything? That thought actually makes me HOPE for a paperwork error that will put us in a position where the whole school goes through the elaborate pantomime of taking a test that we are pretending matters…because at that point it is the Testing, with a capital T, as a kind of ritual that happens annually, that is important.
I went through a few ideas on giant monster babies, but came back to the Attack on Titan giants. This was for two reasons…one, I saw a t-shirt with a Chibi Baby Titan on it, and thought, “that’s bizarre.” At first I didn’t like it, and the more I thought about how that fits into my day to day Bizarro World…now I kind of want it. I considered some kind of baby godzilla, or other Kaiju, but the Colossal Baby Titan won out in the end. Mostly through its empirical weirdness.
It also has the advantage of being a huge, motiveless Hater. A Hater like the kind that we seem to have real problems rounding up, even during Important Testing. On Wednesday, according to the same phone call, there will be a meeting of the “Positive Behavior Support Team.” That’s what you have to call School Discipline in the heart of all the Politically Correct Double Speak in School.
At the last meeting, I was asked to give a presentation on certain statistical realities. Little to nothing has been done outside of that presentation, so the school continues a degenerative spiral according to a very highly predictable curve, much like the rigid timetable of Skylab falling out of orbit. I’m fairly certain that I am expected to go to this meeting, and very uncertain of what I should and should not say.
I do know that if I attend, I will be presenting my proposal for something I’ve been calling Project 42. Project 42 is directly related to dealing with the problem of Haters at our school site, and is directly related to presenting them with curriculum and therapy in an intensive, short term environment. Since it is a new idea, and costs money, I’m pretty sure that if I do propose it, I’ll just be making mouth noises.
I have a couple of days of randomness to determine if I will, or won’t be making that presentation.
Another one of the “big kids” on my teaching team found another job this weekend. That teacher is very useful, and will be missed. Considering how a combination of downsizing, RIFs, and outright layoffs are affecting my grade level, I will be surprised if anyone will be there next year. Of course, no one is attempting to incentivize the remainder of my team to stay…and people are interviewing.
It’s only Monday, True Believers, with a Giant Monster Baby Hater climbing over the wall, and Rascals leaving as fast as they can.
Next Issue: Redshirts! Union Agreements! Cash Money! Video Games!