The Sixth Crazy Night.

That Sith Lord isn't even an Alien American.

That Sith Lord isn’t even an Alien American.

I’m writing this on Thursday night…so technically, he should only have the center blade and five others lit. The three on his left should be unlit. You can tell that he’s not really a Jewish Sith Lord by that.

Notice…the protagonist is not impressed. She’s a nigh invulnerable Alien American, who can withstand the heat of the sun and survive in space. I’m thinking eight burning hot lasers will be bad for her t-shirt and noodle cape…might scrape up her metal shoulder pads…but are just annoying to her.

Incidentally, this was a real @#$%& to make digital. For no good reason at all, it just wouldn’t light correctly. The hassles with the digital give it a chance of being colored at some point, if only to get closer to the “vision” I had when drawing. I thought about inking it…but honestly, with the increasing amount of paperwork that I have over the coming week, I didn’t want to make the future drawing load that much harder for black and white images.

At the beginning of the week, a reader sent me an image of Kylo Ren, the new bad guy in the upcoming Star Wars film, holding a Photoshopped Menorah Style Lightsabre. The caption said simply, “When you a Sith Lord but you Jewish too.” The combination of subject verb disagreement, along with the e-mail header (“I think the Maccabees would approve”) I laughed pretty loudly. It was on Monday, and a bunch has happened since then.

Straight from the Inbox, True Believers.

Straight from the Inbox, True Believers.

Complete with poor grammar in the caption, unedited…and the credits as well. It pained me to leave the grammar, but simultaneously, pleased me to leave the ‘net credits for it.

So later in the week, I had to stop by the Westside Pavilion, and unexpectedly the Orthodox Jewish Community was out in force. There was some kind of Chanukhah shindig going on. A pair of young gentleman approached me to inquire if I was Jewish. When I said yes, they asked if I knew that it was Chanukhah. At that point, one offered me a menorah, and was highly concerned that I actually had one. When that happened, I could only think of Kylo Ren, with the Menorah-Sabre. That pretty much prompted me to attempt the illustration at the top.

I’m thinking, though, that the young gentlemen trying to give me a new menorah would be more on point with this look, though:

I still want it spelled "-re", not "-er."  It looks like my rabbi is angry at me again.

I still want it spelled “-re”, not “-er.” It looks like my rabbi is angry at me again.

It also got me thinking about Star Wars and Sith Lords in general. In film canon, there is only one Sith Lord that is not human…Darth Maul, and he is done in pretty @#$%ing quick. All the other “non-expanded universe” Sith Lords have been Human White Males. It does suggest to me that Donald Trump has a future with the Republican Party, and also that the Galactic Empire was a pretty solid “humans only” party. Human men, really….there are no female Stormtroopers or Navy Officers in film either.

Star Wars “Rebels” though, has a bunch of minor “Sith Inquisitors”…not as good as Sith Lords, you see. Those guys are almost EXCLUSIVELY aliens, which seems at odds with the canon that it is supporting. Even discounting the fact that yes, it would have to be cheaper to outfit an army of solely humans (human clones being even cheaper)…prior to these Inquisitors, the only time we see the Empire dealing with non Humans is when Vader hires the bounty hunters. Even then, his officers are straight up racist toward the motley group of experts…so it’s jarring to see these high ranking Imperial inquisitors on screen. Including a female one, the Seventh Sister, voiced by Sarah Michelle Gellar.

What’s my point? Sith Lords generally seem to NOT be okay with Alien Americans. Just look at how Vader treats the Tuskens on Tatooine, or how anyone with Force Powers on Naboo treats the Gungans. As a result, as awesome as the Menorah-Sabre is…it seems like Disney got it right when they gave Kylo Ren an openly Cross Shaped lightsabre. The kind of thing that both Donald Trump and Ben Carson can get behind simultaneously, while searching for lost Alien American treasures, or Nazi Gold. It gets muddy.

It seems odd to me that the sole holiday content this year so far was about Chanukhah…which I am not a fan of. Almost less so than Christmas. Chanukhah is a minor holiday about fuel conservation and gambling, when the real important ones get lost in the shuffle. Being around Christmas, it was morphed successfully into a kind of Jewish Christmas, complete with decorations, candy, gifts, and something you can light up. Overall…it just smacks of the Chritianization of a culture, and if I want that…I already have Christmas. I had pretty successfully avoided Chanukhah this year, except for my e-mail account, and the mall.

And let me tell you…after the first e-mail…at least three times a day, I’ve gotten a variation of the initial Menorah Wielding Kylo Ren. To the point where I felt I had to attempt an illustration, which I believe I mentioned, was a @#$%& to do.

School, though, remained completely holiday free, until moments after I finished drawing the art above (after school). Filling in the speech balloon, where the protagonist questions the Alien American authenticity of the Sith Lord, the PA went on. “Attention teachers…be sure to fill out and return the Secret Santa information before you leave today.” The first salvo of “organized Christmas” at school, and completely voluntary to boot. Obviously, I declined to fill out the form.

Still, I did get a gift. There was a memo waiting for me informing me of the attendance corrections I needed to make, gifting me with about an hour of paperwork. Thanks, Klaus.

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3 thoughts on “The Sixth Crazy Night.

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