Definitely Gone There Before.

Our hero is pretty disappointed with Kazon as a final vacation adversary.

Our hero is pretty disappointed with Kazon as a final vacation adversary.

I would be, too. They are a big part of what made Star Trek: Voyager a chore to watch…two seasons of an adversary that was just not all that interesting. They were sort of low tech, adversarial space tribes that yelled at you, and tried to steal your technology because it was empirically better. Heck…don’t take my word for it. In the dialogue of the show, the Kazon were the only species known to have been rejected by the Borg for assimilation. The former Borg drone Seven of Nine explained this to Neelix, the chef aboard Voyager, in the following manner: “Their biological and technological distinctiveness was unremarkable; they were unworthy of assimilation.”

The Borg assimilate pretty much EVERYTHING. Often parts of spaceships, bits of technology, every single person they can find. They rejected these bad guys, much like Trekkies did.

As a threat, they didn’t have anything like a Cloaking Device or other unknown technology, either. While the technology they had allowed the Kazon to spread throughout a small area of the Delta Quadrant, it lacked elements common to the technology of basic Star Trek alien races. The Kazon had energy weapons such as phaser and tractor beams, as well as deflector shields, but had no knowledge of technology like transporter beams and replicators until their first contact with Voyager.

With her Generic Alien Superhero powers, the protagonist could pretty easily just fly out and punch such a low tech space cruiser into being broken. Superboy and Mon-El used to do that all the time in the Legion of Superheroes…even Ultra Boy, who could only use one power at a time had a fair amount of spaceship wrecking. she wouldn’t even break a sweat.

Also…if the Voyager is fast, and just booking it all the way back to Federation space at the best speed it can make…how did they spend an entire two seasons in Kazon space? That seems far fetched, and like they really weren’t trying that hard to get home.

Why am I on about this? Glad you asked.

I just picked up “Star Trek: The Next Generation, Warped,” a fictitious summary of the lost “Season Eight” episodes. It’s based on the Twitter account @TNG_S8, which provides “log lines” summarizing episodes of Star Trek that never happened. Many of them are pretty hilarious, and well worth conversion to a “Star Trek Guide” format. For instance…”A subspace rumple disables the Enterprise and blinds the crew. Data & Geordi’s plan to build the perfect girlfriend backfires explosively.”

Or this one, which I considered illustrating…

“Roman centurions force Riker to fight a gorilla. There’s no room for a side story here: the main plot is too epic. Also: it’s a 3-parter.”

Right? I would watch that. The book is illustrated, and pretty incredibly hilarious. I highly recommend…and there’s even a Kindle edition here.

Also, as promised, more color!

Rainbow Dash is pointing in the direction that Orange Batman should drive.

Rainbow Dash is pointing in the direction that Orange Batman should drive.

Not sure what tomorrow’s art will bring, as we are nearing the return to actual work…school…and then real content for the strip. Sheesh. that sounds stressful. I do know that we will have another color piece, at least…because I’m actually enjoying exploring the use of markers.


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