A Beatdown, By Any Other Name.

Whoa…that Kelvan Alien is taking a terrific Old School Corridor Beatdown.

I was mildly frustrated with things starting to unfold in terms of news from work, and so this proved to be fantastically cathartic to draw. The long story short is that I will be moving classrooms, in order to make space for a class that does not yet exist, being taught by a teacher who has not yet been hired. It doesn’t take a genius to see where that is frustrating…I am quite literally being inconvenienced for NO EXISTING reason, just the promise of a future reason of some kind.

Honestly…it’s not all that big of a deal. Annoying, but once it’s put in perspective in a decent way, not really all that much of a Thing. You see this paragraph? It represents real and tangible personal growth on my part. Younger versions of me would have constructed an elaborate conspiracy in the district, targeted directly at me, for which this was only Step One. These days, I can see the reality, which is that at times, I work for idiots who plan poorly, and that just is a thing that happens.

Still, today’s cathartic beat down in the halls of the enterprise really helped to work out some of that emotional content. I actually considered NOT drawing Panel Two, on the thought process that the Kelvan (a kind of alien) could not possibly have survived the hit in Panel One. I drew it anyway, because, well, I felt like it.

So, unless you’re a Trekkie, you’re like, “Why did that jumpsuit wearing @#$% need such a beat down?” That’s a good question. In the only episode where they appear, they are established as aliens from outside the whole galaxy, that have assumed human form for convenience, and because of the realities of visual effects. In their natural form, they are immense in comparison to humanoids, Kelvans were at least twice the size of an adult Klingon male. (That’s according to a Deep Space Nine episode, where Worf mentions fighting them to sound like a bad @#$). Their complex minds possessed sufficient discipline to operate each of their hundred tentacle-like limbs independently, but their superior intellectual capacity developed at the cost of emotions and sensory perceptions.

When they assume human form, they can’t handle human sense and emotions, and art defeated. Granted, they are pretty tough humans (figure they have double the density of a person, and pretty super strength from compressing them into that size), but it’s their technology that makes you want to get the jump on them with a beat down.

Kelvans carried a device (worn on sciencey looking belts around their waist) that served as a both a weapon and a defense. With a touch, a Kelvan could immobilize multiple targets with a “neural field” that selectively neutralized nerve impulses to their voluntary muscles. A “freeze beam” if you will. With similar ease, the devices were capable of a far more @#$% up effect on a target. The device could instantly “distill” a lifeform, suspending animation and encoding the essence of the target’s physical form and personality into a compact and lightweight dehydrated cuboctahedron, composed of the target’s base minerals. The person could be reconstituted from their solid state at any time, as long as the solid remained intact.

If you crushed this small shape in your hands, the red shirt was completely obliterated. Which they did, so that you knew that, watching the show.

So…you want to beat them silly before they can deal with the groovy belts they wear with their jumpsuits. Cap is nigh invulnerable, so I don’t think she could be reduced to a cuboctahedron, but she does have nerves and muscles, so she could probably be frozen in place. It smart to jump on that problem.

Especially when you’re just sitting around, and telling inappropriate stories while playing cards with the other red shits, some jumpsuit guy walks in. Next think you know, a bunch of your buddies are now small geometric shapes, and you feel like you need to put the hurt on that guy. That’s pretty much the entire context that I have for this panel.

That, and the fact that about five Kelvans took over the whole @#$% Enterprise, crew of 430 or so, in the episode. Clearly, if each one of them is comparable to about eighty guys, you have Carte Blanche to work out your Silver Age Powers on him in a real hurry. I would think.

As it is, I think Kirk is going to be pretty mad about this as well. He just tends to be.

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