Walk The Line.
In “Star Wars: Dark Empire” by Dark Horse Comics, a post “Return of the Jedi” Luke Skywalker first parries the laser blasts of a giant AT-AT Walker, and then brings it down with the Force.
In “Empire Strikes Back,” he scales one with a magnetic rope, cuts the armor open with his lightsabre, and then chucks a bomb inside, bringing down the Walker.
In “Vader Down,” by the modern Marvel comics series, Darth Vader handles an AT-AT with his lightsabre, and nothing else, and then brings one down using a casual gesture with the Force, and nothing else.
Obviously, that’s all impressive.
Cap, on the other hand, is smacking the living @#$% out of the foot hinges of a Walker, with a @#$% ton of Silver Age Strength and a flat, blunt, tuning fork. That’s another way to handle this kind of thing, and very much in line with my current mood.
We have started the current in class project, and productivity is slow. I have graded about two hundred late assignments, clearing out two out of five classes and bringing them up to date. The problem of missing work remains the single largest contributor to bad student grades, and students are not taking advantage of what I’m letting them have. Not only do I have a “rolling late policy,” allowing students to turn in assignments up until the “drop dead’ date…there is NO late penalty. That’s huge. Furthermore, to assist in actually get all of those assignments in, I’ve been making my time and computers available before school, during lunch, and until four o’clock after school.
I have had NO takers for that offer.
Between slow productivity on the current project, and about half of the last two weeks of assignments not submitted…I’m troubled about the students’ probable final grades. It’s frustrating, because I don’t know how to make this any more accessible or “doable.”
Like the big AT-AT Walker, district guidelines for grades and gradebook submission are pretty much on top of me. I can handle that stuff about as easily as CAP @#$%ed over that Walker, but also with about as much of a mess and collateral damage. See all that nonsense flying about, and the smoke and the just, the probable electrical fire from the leg stump? Yeah…that’s a heavy handed metaphor for my students’ current grades, if I had to actually submit grades today.
Hopefully, some serious pressure can be added in the next day or so, and I can get a decent amount of work sent in. Right now…a conservative estimate has my entire gradebook at about 320 missing assignments of real importance. Even cutting that number in half would be a pretty big deal.
In the next couple of days, I’m going to have to meet individually with each student in academic jeopardy, and pretty much personally invite them to pass. We were supposed to print out fail notices for every single student in my grade, have an assembly, and inform them of the need to get their stuff together. By we…I mean that administration said that they’d do it two weeks ago, and it hasn’t happened yet. I’m frustrated by that, because when I sit in meeting after meeting about how important it is for students to be on graduation track, but admin can’t hit “print” and hold an assembly…it smacks of hypocrisy.
A huge @#$%ing fuss, complete with the principal being overwhelmed with emotion, happens over football. We had an assembly for students who made Honor Roll, although many honer students were pretty much skipped over because the planning wasn’t done well. These are things we have done, but taking the time to keep students of graduation track…that’s where we are “dropping the ball”, to use my principal’s parlance.
Hence today’s cathartic art. Although it’s important to note that it’s not one of the Edu-Mountain’s machines bearing down of Cap, and having to be dealt with…that’s a machine from Central. That’s what grades are…they are a district issue. They just happen to be frequently ignored by my local Edu-Lords.
One more thing about the art…if she can smack the ankle assembly of an armored AT-AT Walker to @#$% in a single hit…that tuxedo wearing robot from yesterday was REALLY @#$%ed. Almost makes you feel badly for the smug, conference attending jerk, huh?