Operation: Pork Chop!

My impression is that she was kind of hanging onto the underside of that plane…

I’m keeping things about pork chop sandwiches. That helps it NOT get political. That’s the plan here.

Obviously, those are the planes from yesterday’s post, from Cobra Command. I had a whole eighties thing going on as a result, so I felt like if Cap were to get a lift from anyone, it would be Rambo. Rambo, who weirdly had an animated series in the eighties, because pretty much everything did. Chuck Norris also had a cartoon, so it was a tough choice there.

The whole point of yesterday’s post was to get to this one, at least artistically.

This is an odd composition, obviously. It has a kind of a “bird’s eye view” of airplanes from above, with one of them flying straight up. I wanted the idea of the GI Joe style guns that were really lasers, but didn’t want to draw laser lines. I wanted more the strange burst effects, which are very hard to represent without animation. The whole thing, including the planes themselves, seemed to lend themselves pretty well to a Kirby style composition, entirely about the action.

So much so, that I didn’t want speech balloons cluttering it up. Hence, another caption under the image, in the gutters, which I’ve been experimenting with more lately. It can leave the image pretty clean, but also pretty much forbids actual dialogue between characters.

There’s not much else to it. In terms of “plot,” Cap has taken great lengths to get back her pork chop sandwiches, as she vowed to yesterday. It is long established in the strip that she really values her pork chop sandwiches, which are often jeopardized by her superhero lifestyle.

It’s pretty ironic that I cannot find a place in Los Angeles that will actually provide ME with pork chop sandwiches. I think part of the reason Cap values them so much is their relative scarcity in the universe, or at least in the universe of Los Angeles dining.

While I was drawing, I was again asked…”She can clearly fly, she’s flying in the panel. Why did she even need a lift from Rambo? Isn’t she faster than that jet?” That’s a good question, as far as it goes.

Let’s address it.

  • First…she gets lost. She has to chase two airplanes to god knows where, and she gets lost going to ordinary places.
  • Second…if you CAN team up with Rambo, you DO team up with Rambo. It’s @#$%ing Rambo.
  • Third…that gives you a jet fighter that you can just jump the @#$% off of, with a laser machine gun. That sends an important message about how pissed off you are about the whole pork chop sandwich situation.
  • Lastly, and let’s be completely clear about this, Cobra is a “ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.” It’s probably important that someone has some kind of a clue as to what they were going to do with the pork chop sandwiches.

And now, I have to field the next logical question, that has already been asked to me several times, because of yesterday’s post. “Why would Cobra even want pork chop sandwiches? To eat them? That’s what you do with sandwiches.”

Ummm…no. Allow me to list the most bat@#$% crazy plans that Cobra Command got into, and you will clearly see that there could be some diabolical plot involving them. With that said, Cap just eats them.

It’s easy to think of the show as a formula. Cobra Commander comes up with a ridiculous, evil plan (typically involving money, lasers, or both), the Joes show up, a fight happens, and Cobra retreats. Yeah, but now you are leaving out the aliens, ghosts, robot seas serpents, robot clowns, melting clones, and plain old vanilla robots. Consider these gems:

  • While fighting in Carpathia, Cobra Commander gets a local sorcerer to summon three ghost soldiers for him. This turns out to be a Roman soldier, a World War I pilot and a female Mongolian. The Mongolian (like all Mongolian warleaders) has arrows that can turn things to ice. The Joes need to give the ghosts mementoes a decent burial to chill them the @#$% out.
  • Sure…Cobra has fleets, armies, and superweapons. Great. How generic. What’s the best way to rule the world? Clone up three dinosaurs, mind control them, and have them directly attack GI Joe. The whole plan is three mega reptiles, and the invention of very expensive proprietary technology that makes dinosaurs.
  • Since Cobra Commander doesn’t understand investing or robbing banks, he decides to finance Cobra by plundering the tomb of the Egyptian god Osiris. This means that everyone needs to get transported to the Land of the Dead, but there is no way to turn a profit.
  • Cobra has Dr. Mindbender combine human and animal DNA to create freaky abominations to fight the Joes with.
  • Cobra teams up with fashion mogul Madame Veil, who has invented a machine to suck the beauty out of a woman’s face and put it on someone else. This, of course, leaves the first face completely blank, like an egg, so there is a downside.

Looking at that list, which doesn’t even scratch the surface, who KNOWS what the Cobra organization would do with the precious pork chop sandwiches? All that we do know is that Cap wants them back, enough to have Rambo drive her into battle on the side of a jet fighter, while carrying a laser gun.

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